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Nothing is Wasted- new song this weekend at Western Reserve

I'm really excited for this new song at Western Reserve- Nothing is Wasted.

We're speaking this weekend on God's Sovereignty- this song has meant a lot to me in understanding God's sovereign hand in my life and how he has brought redemption.  Check out these lyrics- I pray they move your soul as you consider God's faithfulness and sovereignty in your life.

Verse 1-
You know my every need, You see my poverty
You are enough for me, Jesus
You gave the blind their sight, You raised the dead to life
You've done the same for me, Jesus

Chorus-

You are loving, You are wise    there is nothing in my life You cannot revive
You are loving, You are wise    there is nothing too hard for our God

Verse 2-
Your Word inside of me, my strength my everything
My hope will always be, Jesus
Your breath inside my lungs, You're worthy of my trust
You will forever be, Jesus

Bridge-
Nothing is wasted    You work all things for good
Nothing is wasted    Your promise remains, forever You reign 

 

 

A Tale of Two Concerns

If you get two people in the same room, eventually they'll disagree about something.  We're all different- it can be a beautiful thing.  

I wanted to share two examples of "disagreements" in the last week, and how they were handled differently- along with their outcomes.  (I am NOT taking shots in this, I wouldn't do that.  Just trying to help people see healthy ways of dealing with conflict).

Tale 1:

Tuesday, I read the connection cards from the weekend- (Cheryl processes them on Mondays) and see prayer requests, communication- 99% good things.

Then, there are occasionally critical ones- almost always unsigned.

Nothing like an anonymous "you stink" to brighten my Tuesday morning.   It's ok, though.  :)

Outcome?  Nothing.  Tough to process with someone when you don't know who they are.

Tale 2:

One of our most faithful, consistent volunteers approached me Sunday after 10:30 service about the same issue as that connection card (he wasn't the one who wrote it).  He said; "dude, I just thought, it's ok.  Maybe it's not what I like but I trust you guys and I want you to know I love you and support you."  Then we discussed it together- great conversation.

Outcome? Peace.  Relationship.  Maybe even better decisions.

______________________________________________________________________

I know, some folks tend to complain and be negative.  It can be human nature. Sometimes, disagreements are out of that- however, sometimes they are valid and we (I) make mistakes.  Goes both ways.

I actually think our church is pretty healthy with this issue- but thought this could be helpful.

Unsigned critical notes do not motivate to change.  They truly don't do anything good.

Sometimes they hurt- sometimes it can make you feel defensive, like you are being attacked.

Moral of the story is NOT: "start signing your name to your critical note," although I'd prefer that over unsigned.  At least I could deal with issues then.  

Guy in Tale #2?  Did pretty well.  He came to me respectfully and let me know I wouldn't need to be defensive, and then asked questions.  I'll have those talks all day long.

_____________________________________________________________________

Here's how to deal with things when you have an issue:

1) Contact the person without spreading negative talk to other people
2)  Be humble, kind, and respectful- assume the best.  Pray before your talk.
3) Ask them to process with you, help you understand
        ("this makes me feel ____," can you help me understand?" rather than "you did ___,             now we are ____") 
4)  As much as depends on you, make forgiveness, redemption possible
5) Trust God to judge.

_____________________________________________________________________ 

Guy in Tale #2 told me: "people complain to me, they just keep coming to me, what do I do?"

Stop listening to it.  They'll stop coming to you.

You don't need to blow people up, just beat them to the punch with something positive.

Person A: "hey, this stinks."
Person B: "I'm sorry you feel that way- but wow, how about (insert statement of honor
                    here)?"
Person A: "hey, I said that this stinks."
Person B: "I don't want to dishonor anyone- why don't you go talk to that person?            
                     They've been great with me." 

Like I wrote, I think we're actually a fairly healthy church in this regard- but, we need to "keep the culture" and fight for health.  

- Don't spread criticism.  "I heard's" don't help.
- Speak honor and encouragement about other people- in front of their face and behind their back. 
-  Read these: Matthew 18:15-20, then 18:21-35, James 3, and Galatians 5:16-26
- Trust God.  He sees.  It's in His hands, not yours. 

Call Me Tuesday.

Mondays, I'm AWOL.

That's my day off; that's my sabbath.

I have to guard that; if you text me/call me mondays about church stuff I won't respond until I'm back in the office.  I don't check email mondays.

"We are never more vulnerable to depression from burnout than when we are totally fatigued and overtired.  Even Jesus, when He felt weary and overwhelmed, said to His disciples, 'Come away... and rest for a while."

I read this week that 10% of pastors who enter ministry retire as a pastor.

I'm no better than any of those guys.

I'd like to retire as a pastor.

So I'm trying to get in better shape.  I'm trying to improve my rest.  

We all need a Sabbath.  I know life doesn't always work that way- but whatever we don't claim in our schedule gets claimed for us.  We have to proactively reserve it, and stubbornly not budge.

"The clock is my dictator, I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when exhausted.
It leads me into deep depression, it hounds my soul.
It leads me in circles of frenzy for activities' sake.
Even though I run frantically from task to task,
I will never get it all done, for my 'ideal' is in me.
Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand performance from me, beyond the limits of my schedule.
They anoint my head with migrains, my in-basket overflows.
Surely fatigue and time pressure shall follow me all the days of my life.
And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever."

(all quotes from Leading on Empty, Wayne Cordeiro)

Kind of a Psalm 23rd in reverse.  

I'd like my life to be the opposite of this.  You?

 

I'd love to talk with you.

Tuesday. 

Opportunity

Last week, of all places, I got to share the Gospel with someone... in the sauna.

Ya, weird I know.

I've been trying really hard to get in better shape lately, and after a good workout I'll chillax in the sauna a bit (just dudes).  A guy asked me if I was Jewish, with the Hebrew that is on my body.  That led to a good talk- I stayed in there sharing until I was dizzy.

My left arm reads "Ephraim" which means "God has made me fruitful in the land of my trouble."  The idea that God is using my in church now is ridiculous- only God.

My right arm reads "Manasseh" which means "God has made me forget."  It's when healing becomes complete- like it never happened.

Check out this text for the breakdown.  Then read up on Joseph's life.

It's part of my testimony.  I know tattoo's aren't everyone's thing, that's cool.  I like them, though.  To me, it's giving glory to God for how He's redeemed me, and an opportunity to share with others what God has done- even in the sauna.

 

Projected Criticism

⁸ Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.  Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. ⁹ Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

1 Peter 3: 8,9, NLT

One thing that my friends in seminary used to describe me as was "an abused dog."

Ever go to pet a dog who has been abused in the past?  They wince and draw back, even though you intended to care for it.

Most people who have been in ministry have a few stories of being "beaten."  Accused and criticized.  Guilty until proven innocent.  The "people business" can be difficult.

When you have a history of this, it's easy to "project."  Here's what I mean:

My friends and I spent a lot of time remodeling our Cafe last week.

While painting, I kept thinking of "all the people that would show up this weekend and criticize me."

Now, first of all- our church is not like that.  That's because Pastor Jason hasn't, and the staff doesn't, put up with that behavior.

Second- compliment after compliment came in about how the Cafe looks when the weekend actually came.

Third- when I anticipated criticism while painting, NO ONE had yet said anything critical.  Yet my elevated heart beat and thought pattern would have said differently.

That is, in essence, projection.  In other words, my issues.

My ministry friends: it's tough to lead free when there are soul-wounds.  Any quick responses to this seem trite.  

Our role is of a shepherd; and the shepherd works with sheep who bite.  After a few bites, it's easy to "project" bites even when the sheep are being great.

(For others reading this: I don't mean in this to condescend at all.  I know there are a lot of folks wounded by those in ministry and feel hurt by them.  I'm not referencing you in this post- that's valid and yet for another writing.)

The Holy Spirit and God-appointed healthy relationships can bring healing to deep places of the soul and of the mind.  Despite my symptoms of last week, I am a completely different person than I was a few years back.  I have my moments, but by God's grace personally and through others, I'm no longer an "abused dog."

I'm very thankful to be a part of a healthy church; healthy relationships with the Lead Pastor, and the staff.  This is a good church.  Yes, malfunctions do happen- but it's not a church characteristic here, it's just occasional folks.  It makes me remember how different things are now.  

Ministry friend: may God bless you and protect you; give you hope and discernment.  May you find your identity and value in God's approval rather than man's.  May God, through His Holy Spirit, and through healthy relationships, lead you to redemption and healing.  May the God of peace lead you.

Reality and Vision

"People are far more interested in what works than what's true.  I hate to burst your bubble, but virtually nobody in your church is on a truth quest.  They are on happiness quests.  As long as you are dishing out truth with no here's the difference it will make tacked on the end, you will be perceived as irrelevant by most of the people in your church.  You may be spot-on theologically, but you will not be perceived as one who teaches with authority.  Worse, nobody is going to want to listen to you.

Culture is like the wind.  You can't stop it.  You shouldn't spit in it.  But, if like a good sailor you will adjust your sails, you can harness the winds of culture to take your audience where they need to go.  Jesus did.

You've studied the Sermon on the Mount.  Surely you know the term Jesus uses over and over can be translated happy.  But even if you are more comfortable with the term blessed, think about what Jesus does at the beginning of his message.  Who doesn't want to be blessed?  He plays to their human nature, and then, one by one, he challenges their most basic assumptions about... well, everything!"

Andy Stanley, Deep & Wide

I'm thinking of how this dynamic plays out, for better or worse, with worship leading.  

Honestly?  For a long time, I've thought this:

I don't care for the way "church" happened in my past.  Others must feel the same.  If I build something different, that will minister to folks.

Now?  I don't know that my thoughts were accurate.  Well intentioned.  Maybe rebellious at times.  But I was trying to do something I thought was good for people.

With any leader, you need to be aware of where things are vs. where they should be.  And with that, step by step, lead folks to where "they should be."

Hopefully, my "where they should be" is healthy.  I want it to be.

Here's what I know: I'm not mad at "church" anymore.

I value growing up the son/grandson of piano/organ players- the hymns being so "in me."  When we play things like "Because He Lives" at WR, that's not me trying to politically satisfy someone; that's me.

I want to Pastor.  Shepherd.  Through worship.  

I can't please everyone.  I'd like to.  But I'd rather lead than be liked.

Sometimes, that does include getting folks to something that may be different than what they currently esteem.

Sometimes, that includes me realizing that what people like is more often than not legitimate.

WR music may be radical.  I do want to "take out church, insert Jesus."  I have a heart for folks who have been bumped into by the church, and I want to disarm some of their angst so they can become a part of a church that could bring healing to them.

Ways we "do church" here will include that flavor.  That's part of our DNA.  The heart is a compassionate, open door.

However;

I want to Pastor our "church folks," too.  I mean it.  I want to set the table so our faithful saints can worship deeply with ways that connect in their hearts.

It's not always easy to succeed with two things at once.

But, if we're mature and on mission, we'll find a way to do just that.  I think it can be done.

I'm willing right now to lay down some of my preferences for the sake of the Kingdom.  

Oh God; let us succeed in this.  To open the door for those that have a problem with "church," but also shepherd the faithful saints.  Give us wisdom to do this well.  

It's okay if you haven't arrived.

"Nouwen challenged Christians to minister with great sympathy for the human condition.  This comes by facing one's woundedness and surrendering it to Christ's healing touch.  That weakness then becomes the strength of Jesus, and the experience of pain the common ground that binds people to the lost and broken.  This is what the Lord did when, broken at Calvary, he offered people healing and freedom through his wounds.  Now, as wounded healers, people are to openly admit woundedness while at the same time extend hope and healing to others."

Terry Wardle - Strong Winds and Crashing Waves

Reading this, I'm reminded of where I've come from, as well as the issues I still have.

God has brought me unbelievable healing and growth in the last few years- but I'm not finished.

May I remember that.

I look for meekness in leadership; strength under control.  Never having to show or establish; knowing who you are, who you are in Christ, and the security of an identity that is unshakable.

I'm not complete.  I have not arrived.  I'm not a finished product.

To help other people, I/you don't have to pretend as though you are a finished product.

Wounded.  Healing.  Trusting.  Growing stronger.  Receiving peace.

May I and we remember that our identity and value is not in our self-ascribed titles, perceptions, and illusions- but in the love of Jesus.  

Embrace the Season

My dad wrote a poem years ago:

There's snow outside.  I hate that thought.
There's snow outside.  I better not.
There's snow outside.  Why not?

Pretty good.  See where I get my lyrical genuis?

I haven't been the biggest fan of Christmas in years past.  People around me know it.  Last year, our only Christmas tree was a paper towel taped on the wall where Brian drew a tree with a sharpie.

Well, we thought it was funny.

Who doesn't like Christmas?  That's just un-American.  Might-as-well not like baseball or apple pie.  

My perspective was filled with the pomp and circumstance of the season in church life and music, crossing emotional boundaries relationally, and the display of greed which is... easy to see.  I had a tough time seeing that it was really about Jesus.

Yeah, okay.

This year, I've changed my mind.

Was I wrong with anything before?  Technically, no.  But maybe... my attitude.  My perspective.

The reality is, Christmas celebrates "Emmanuel, God with us."  Incarnation.  

I love the concept of incarnation.  Jesus came into our stuff.  our world.  

That's reason to celebrate

to embrace

to redeem.

So, the Christmas season comes with some negative.

alright.

It celebrates the positive that changed my life.  Changed your life.  So I'm positive.  Positively.  You should be positive too.

It's Christmas.  Why not?

Remembering Miracles

Two days ago was the 13th anniversary of the day my mother was diagnosed with cancer.

It was the not-good, get-your-affairs-in-order, 2 years best case scenario type of cancer.

It was a Thursday- I was 17- I walked home from high school to find my mom at home.  I was the first one she told in person after the news.

The next six months were filled with surgeries, chemo, radiation...

Watching her lose her hair, waste away...

We begged God for healing.  Believed for it.

Didn't receive it in that way.  But, she kept on living.

Until 2 years later, when doctors discovered a tumor in her arm.

Doctors began surgery- when they touched the tumor, it "dissolved."  Melted away.

Huh.

They said- "maybe it was from an injury you had as a little girl."

I asked my mom: "did you ever have an injury there?"

"No."

I felt God had done something big here- though not everyone felt that way.  Too easy to ascribe to something else.

At least she was still here.

Fast-forward two more years.

I'm a senior in college.  Took a phone call one day- my mom telling me a tennis-ball-sized tumor had developed on her pancreas, and... that's obviously not good.  Things looked bad once again.

I was strong on the phone for her... then after I said good-bye, I dropped the phone and let out a yell: the time had finally come.

I then felt a strange peace inside- that everything would be okay.  Didn't know how- but I couldn't shake that feeling.

I was the student assistant for the Religion dept. at school, and began telling the professors- "God just healed my mom of cancer."

"Wow!" they said.  "What did the doctors say?"

"Nothing yet- but they will."  

Cocky little kid:)

Two weeks later- my mom calls me- she said the doctor, who wasn't a Christian, studied 2 MRI's for 2 hours- the initial one and one that had just been administered.  

"You better go home, fall to your knees and thank your God because there definitely was a tumor, and now there is definitely not."

God healed my mom.  Miraculously.

It's now been 13 years.  Going strong.  A survivor... with a little help.

I know what it's like to beg God for the miracle and feel deserted.  Been there.  My father still has Parkinson's, and up to this point has not experienced a healing like this... although I feel through God's grace is doing absolutely great with it.

Some of you know all too well feeling deserted.

I wouldn't presume to have a one-sentence comment on a blog that would affect your hurt.

But, I do know this- our God is healer.  He can, He does, and I believe He will.

Heaven is not here yet.  The completion of healing and redemption is on the way for those that trust in Jesus.

It will be sweet.

In the mean time...

Praise God for miracles.  My mom is alive today because God supernaturally physically intervened.

Jesus loves you.

He does.

And I will keep asking for more miracles.  I believe God does.  He can.  He will.  Even if He doesn't... still I will follow.

I don't have all the answers... but I believe God is healer.

For those of you in Egypt...

Think about a circumstance in your life, past or present, where you don't understand why you're there or why you have to go through it.

There, your day going better?

Think of, to the degree you know of it, story of Israel coming out of Egypt.  You know, the "Exodus," parting of the Red Sea, "let my people go" and whatnot.

How did Israel get there in the first place?

"God spoke to Israel in visions of the night and said, Jacob, Jacob.  And he said, Here am I.  Then He said, I am God, the God of your father.  Do not be afraid to go down to Eygpt, for there I will make you into a great nation."  Genesis 46:2-3

God led them there.  First with Joseph; but then Joseph's father Jacob (Israel) came with all the family, encouraged by this affirmation.

This promise of becoming a great nation started with Abraham, Jacob (Israel's) grandfather.  

Did it happen in time?

Yes.

Was God faithful?

Yes.

Think about how that verse in Gen 46 is worded: "For there I will make you into a great nation."  

Don't underestimate the deep soul work that God does to you in "Egypt."

Soul work that prepares you for not only your future deliverance, but also to receive the blessing and fulfillment that faithful God has.

This isn't to say that all rough things in your life are from God.  In fact, I'd say the majority are not.  If you're sick, if you're unemployed, I'd venture 99% that's not God's doing, but the fact we live in a fallen world; it's not heaven yet.

But that doesn't mean that God doesn't want to do deep work in you while you're there.

As it's been said, "if you're going through hell, keep going."  - Winston Churchill

But let God do the deep work in you that's needed.

Part of the reason I'm where I am right now in life is because the work God did in my soul during my "Egypt" a few years back.

I'm quite a different guy than I used to be; without pain, that wouldn't have happened.

Deliverance didn't seem like it would ever come.  I gave up hope.  I started a new career.

But God didn't give up- He was faithful.

He saw me.  He redeemed me.

Sometimes God wants to make you into something great while you're in Egypt.  Fruit is seen later.

You need to choose to be well, even if you haven't crossed the Red Sea yet.

Trust His faithfulness, let Him work in you.  It's not in vain.