A reflection I've had lately about humanity and relationships is how frequently "love of them" is rooted in "love of me."
Often, I'll ask a couple to look into each others eyes, tell each other "I love you," and a few reasons why.
It's interesting to hear what can come out.
"You're a great dad." "You're a devoted mother." "You're good at your job." "People like you."
Those aren't necessarily bad things, of course- they're good. But what I'm listening for is a love of an innate characteristic of that person rather than an appreciation of benefit.
Is it: "I love that you are beautiful, trustworthy, deep, funny, faithful, smart, etc."
-or-
"I love the way you love me."
"I love the way you love me" isn't bad- unless that is all that is there.
A lot of singles really want to be not single anymore.
Nothing wrong with that.
However, it can accelerate relationships via the criteria of "I'm not alone anymore," "I have value since someone likes me," "I love that I feel loved."
That is like building a relationship on sand.
______________________________________________________________________
I'll fully admit- "Words of Affirmation" is my love language. I truly, deeply appreciate that my wife doesn't buck against that but embraces it and speaks encouragement to me.
However, I need to truly love...
her.
Not just for what she provides for me.
_______________________________________________________________________
Same thing with God?
I love that He loves me. I love that He's faithful to me. I love that I have hope in heaven, salvation, and am genuinely better because of His influence.
However, I need to truly love...
Him.
By virtue of who He is. Relationship and worship can actually happen, if as a starting point, it doesn't end with "I love the way you love me."
Who is He?